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HEALING
ADOPTION
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In
a perfect world, every child would be wanted and every parent would be
able to raise his/her children. Sadly, this is not the case. I know about
adoption from both a profession and personal perspective. I have worked
in the adoption field, and I am a birth grandmother who has experienced
the loss of my first grandchild through adoption. While adoption is a
joyous occasion for the adoptive parents, it is often a time of great
pain and loss for the birth parents and their families. It is crucial
that birth families deal with the feelings they are having. In actuality,
the adopting parents have experienced a loss as well - they have lost
their dream of having a biological child. Working through the feelings
surrounding infertility is extremely important as well. It is becoming
more common for birth parents and adoptees to want to meet. This is not
an abnormal or unhealthy desire. We all want to know our roots and from
where we came. Adoptees who search for their birth parents deserve to
do so, and adoptive parents who support this effort will be showing their
love and respect for their grown children.
Adoption is too often filled with a sense of shame and fear. There is, however, nothing shameful about placing a child for adoption or being adopted. Whether a couple is married or not, each and every child is a legitimate human being worthy of love, respect, and care. I cannot emphasize enough that shame and guilt have no place in adoption. I work with birthparents, adoptees, and adoptive parents individually and in groups. I also work with the adoption "triad" as a group. |
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